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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Am at my Tweet's End

I solemnly swear that this is the last time I shall cheat by cloaking excerpts from my Twitter updates as a blog post. That's because, from now on, I er... plan to post all my Twitter updates as blog posts. If you anyway follow me on Twitter and want to read only the longer stuff, you can click on the topic - Patiala. Here are excerpts from my Tweets of the last few days -

Bihar cops perform Pujas to reduce crime http://tinyurl.com/9zlycb Good that the cops have stopped preying and started praying.

Microsoft's latest campaign is 'Life without walls' http://tinyurl.com/6sjx3g Er... if there are no walls, why do we need Windows?

ISI training women for terrorism http://tinyurl.com/9eqjaq So, do the women get to play the virgins in paradise?

Art market down by 30% http://tinyurl.com/8e8yer Sigh. A picture is now worth only 700 words.

Manmohan sends greeting cards to Zardari & Gilani http://tinyurl.com/8zwav5 You could call this the Hallmark of his diplomacy.

No more elephants in RD parade http://tinyurl.com/99rul8 Guess our govt. was scared that Shiv Sena would object to the "Pakiderms".

Raju doesn't want to share his cell http://tinyurl.com/9gp7kr So, a criminal company is ok. But the company of criminals is not. Uh?

Mayawati sends Rs.500 to the woman who gave Rahul shelter. After mopping up Rs.12,00,00,000 on her b'day. Trickle down economics in action.

Gardening boosts men's sex-life http://tinyurl.com/8ye8lk Well, that explains the superhigh birthrate of Mali http://tinyurl.com/8zxble

Sourav Ganguly retires from the Bengal Ranji Trophy team. You could say that he has become a non-state player.

I think 'Warner Brothers' should change their name. They never warned us about CC2C.

Raj Thackeray to launch an agitation against Aamir & Shahrukh. He accuses them of maintaining 6-Paks.

Congress says Priya is the political heir of Sunil Dutt http://tinyurl.com/dl57qg Is this what they mean by political "will"?

Vishwakarma sues Slumdog cast on behalf of slum-dwellers http://tinyurl.com/aj2urw What next? Achutanandan suing them on behalf of dogs?

K'taka govt tells temples to perform puja to ward off ill-effects of eclipse http://tinyurl.com/awcdyk Their motto - No work and all pray.

100% literacy programme inaugurated for prisoners in TN http://tinyurl.com/bfp9yr First they get a sentence. Then they are taught words.

Mamata praises Gujarat for being biz-friendly http://tinyurl.com/bz5jt6 That's like Jack the Ripper praising Paris for being safer.

Vijender & Sushil Kumar don't get Padma Shrees but Akshay does. Now we know whose exploits in China are valued.

You can follow me on Twitter here. And the more masochistic among you can choose to receive these updates as SMSs.

Incidentally, this blog now has more than 100 followers, over 500 subscribers, 25,000+ visits and is in the Technorati Top-100,000. Thank you, dear readers, for your tolerance.

8 comments:

Rahul Jauhari said...

I love the art market one...
congratulations - technorati sounds like the literati and gliterati of blogosphere :-)

the stygian sailor said...

Sir, i am follower of your tweets as well as your posts. they are great.
keep going.
"put some more"

Ramsay said...

You surpass yourself again. All the tweets are hilarious, without exception. Now waiting for the longer post, may be this time on Rahul Shivshankar (poor chap, he is always made to play second fiddle to Arnab), Prabhu Chawla (only Hindi for him), Pushpesh Pant (would seem he knows all about the country of his guest, even more), Paranjoy Guha Thakurta (always being carried away by the exuberance of his own verbiage), Vinod Dua (saying everything with all the conviction at his command and no fear of contradiction whatsoever) and other unmentionables.

donraja said...

Ramesh
Some of the ones are real gems, like you deserve a booker for it, or maybe a booklet.
Specially the one on art, the tn jailbirds and the viju and sushil. They are wit and wordplay at a new level. kickass.
Is it necessary to put those https tiny urls in the middle? You've already summed it up tiny enough.

Arjun Swarup said...

Holy God dude.. you're hilarious. There should be legislation against someone being so funny.

Prashant said...

Quite funny! All and all it was an interesting and an educational read.

Tejaswy said...

Nice one liners

Sankt Ingen said...

Pithy Picks - Tweet Wits

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