It would be funny if it weren't so scary

1. Someone has started a group in facebook called "Say NO to terrorism." Its membership is swelling by the minute. Are its members promising to not indulge in terrorism ("say no to drugs" types)? Or is the group meant to inform terrorists (at least the ones who are on facebook) that there are people out there who don't like getting bombed. Thereby clearing their misconception that their victims enjoy their attacks. I'm scanning the list of members to see if Osama has joined.

2. Pratibha Patil has put our minds at ease by "strongly condemning" the terror attacks. She probably thought that we were sick with apprehension that she might applaud it. The Deccan Mujaheddin are now expected to be completely demoralized by this presidential rebuke.

3. Manmohan Singh has "called" for the establishment of a federal investigation agency. Uh? Who is he "calling"? Isn't he the guy who is supposed to set it up? And preferably have set it up by now. It's like Emperor Nero "calling" for the establishment of a fire department.

4. Commandos are landing on the Nariman Building. They seem to be tip-toeing down. They are communicating to each other through hand signals. Secrecy & surprise are paramount. And NDTV is showing this live!!! With informative commentary on how many commandos have landed and so on. Perhaps NDTV's research has shown that terrorists only watch cartoon network during missions.

5. Shivraj Patil is peeved that the terrorists didn't hang around in the Cama Hospital & CST till he landed up. He is probably extremely upset about this grave breach of protocol. Which is why, his description of the events has been "most disturbing". Reminds me of Humphry Appleby.

6. The CII Chief Mentor, Tarun Das, has suggested that many conferences should be held to combat terrorism. I presume they will meet all day in exotic but safe spots and come out with a resolution condemning terrorism. There goes Al Qaeda's chances on getting listed in the BSE.

7. While all the TV channels have been uniformly hysterical, Barkha Dutt seems to have emerged as the first among equals in the race for the most words with the least sense. By asking the relatives of hostages bizarre questions - "How do you feel?" and "What will you do if your husband doesn't come out?"  - she has piled insensitivity on top of stupidity. Basically the thugs have taken the hostages and the media is spreading the terror.

Sat morning

The fighting seems to be over. Now I guess the battles will begin.

One news channel is showing the corpse of a terrorist and claims that the death of this particular terrorist symbolizes the death of terror. NDTV has changed its caption from "War Zone" to "Enough is enough". Which, strangely, is what most people have been telling them.

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Just who is the public?

The smoker is not public. He's a disease-spewing addict who needs to be banished to dark corners. He will be ostracised.

The homosexual is not public. He's a deviant who needs to be driven into the closet. He will be denied medical care.

The artist is not public. He's just an inconsiderate lout who needs to be taught not to offend anyone's sensibilities. He will be mobbed.

The missionary is not public. He's an evil do-gooder who lures innocent illiterates from their true religion by promising them food, clothing, education & dignity. He will be slaughtered.

The immigrant is not public. He is an invader who has come to corrupt culture by talking, dressing & behaving differently. He will be looted.

The youth are not public. They are just wastrels of voting age who are abandoning the lifestyle we have championed for 5000 years. They will be jailed.

The rich are not public. They are merely achievers who use their wealth to wallow in decadence and luxury. They will be curbed.

The poor are not public. They are ignorant animals who will be kept in poverty so that their servility is permanent. They will be exploited.

Who then is the public? In whose name are the laws of our land made? Whose good do they mean when they talk of the 'greater good'?

The corrupt. The fanatic. The bigot. The intolerant. The powerful. The numerous. The mob. 

Yup, it makes sense. The mob is the majority. And democracy, they say, is rule by the majority.

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